weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
