I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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