I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
