Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
