hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
