I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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