Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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