did you get engaged???
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
