Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
