I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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