Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
