I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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