Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize