Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you would pick up someone in the library
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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