Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize