I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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