I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
