Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
How external is "for external use only"?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Randomize
