this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
