So drunk, too bad you don't want this
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
