When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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