Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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