and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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