whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
