...so i touched it.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
