Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
