too bad you live with your parents still
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
