69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
