im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
