The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
