i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize