That's intense
That's when you crack a 10am beer
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Randomize
