Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
