Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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