Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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