you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
