Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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