Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
