You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
