lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Barsexuality is the new black.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
