He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
