Non-Jews are for practice
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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