Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
