you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Everyone says I win the strip club
True strength comes from lack of pants
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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