went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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