just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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