It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think your dad took our porno
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
