i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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