I'm lost and stupid without you.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
