If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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