nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There's always time for handjobs
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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