what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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