im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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