Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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