that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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