I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
