i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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