All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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