Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize