I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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