Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
