I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
